25 Mar 2015

This is my blog. Although really it's not a blog. It's a single page with a single post with a very optimistic purpose. So here goes...

Have you ever been approached in the street by a stranger who asks you for some money? Not threateningly, I mean spare change. At which point you probably ignore them, or say you don't have any spare change or (on rarer occasions) maybe even give them a couple of coins. Well inspired by the countless such encounters I have had and by the following line from the movie "High Fidelity" and by the thought-provoking career and ethos of this lady, I decided to make this page in the hope that some person with more humour than money will play along and acquiesce to my proposal.

You see, the stranger who approaches you will usually ask for a small amount of money. That is what they're after; an amount large enough to partly cover their needs but small enough to be realistically obtainable. But I do not need a small amount of money. I have a job. I just want to instantly and effortlessly receive a good enough sum to set me up for a while so I don't have to concern myself with work. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a money drive where I want all of us to band together with the sole purpose of helping me. No. I do not want multiple donations from well meaning generous individuals. No. I want one dude, with a pot load of money to give me 47,000 Euros.

Now I know what you're going to say, any number of people would like that amount of money. So what singles me out from everyone else? Well, I made this page asking for what I want, which is 47,000 Euros, for free.

So, you have it and don't need it? Click on the donate button and send it over.

What will you get in return? Any number of things... An interesting story to tell all your rich friends at parties, at the end of which you will laugh and they will look at you awkwardly. A good way to piss off your parents by squandering away their wealth. The satisfaction of knowing that you, like me, are a pioneer in the increasingly narrowing field of firsts of the internet. On top of all that, the person (or entity even) that joins me in this incredible adventure will, if they wish, get featured on this page and if they like we can get a picture taken together with big smiles and everything!!!

That's it! Cheers!

And remember... be lucky!! ;D

P.S. As it seems this may take a while I have begun adding comments to keep us amused. See below...

1 comment:

  1. Afterlife
    So it's been 3 days and still nothing... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. But I haven't given up hope. I still believe in the eternal luck of the Irish (which I am not but no matter).

    In the mean time I thought it might be nice to pass the time by sharing my latest theory with you. And as at the moment the only person that visits this page is me, then essentially you is me and I am a little lonely. But isn't that the bigger picture really?

    Anyway, throughout human history, as self aware-beings, we have been obsessed (to an unhealthy extent) with giving our lives meaning. And the easiest way we have found to accomplish this is by creating and believing in some form of afterlife. Imagine if suddenly we were all magically bestowed with the irrefutable knowledge that our existence as conscious, wilful beings ceases at death. And after death we are just redistributed amongst the universe, to exist as we once did before we became what we are right now. Society as we know it would collapse. So in the spirit of preserving this long standing tradition of ignoring the obvious and gleefully choosing to believe whatever suites and comforts us, I have come up with my own theory of what happens after we die.

    Based on the wide variety of lives that I see people living, and the chaotic nature with which luck seems to be distributed amongst us, I believe that every time we die we are reincarnated. This belief already exists, I know, but I have added to it.

    When in fact we do die (or in the case of new souls, just before we are born) we enter the universal waiting room for self-aware beings. We are then faced with the universal powers of chaos, order and destiny which take the form of 3 floating talking spheres. Respectively the first is made of light, the second of rock and the third is a tennis ball.

    They then ask us to choose what kind of life we would like. The choice, however, is limited between extreme variety, regular variety and limited variety. What form the variety will take is random. The only thing you get to choose is how much variety your life will have. You have 3 minutes and 19 seconds to decide and if you do not then the choice is made for you based on the existing quota of choices already made versus the number of choices necessary to keep universal balance. At times when this balance is faltering because too many beings are making their own choice, the powers will try to influence the beings by emphasising a certain choice. For example, they might say it louder, or dip suggestively while saying it, insinuating that it is the best choice to make.

    There is no safe choice. If you choose limited variety you get to spend the majority of your life as one thing. But what if the one thing you get to be is a convict? Wide variety might see you born into a massive fortune only to have it all taken away from you. Variety could mean the same thing but with less fortune and more boredom. What it comes down to really is how much of what life has to offer (good or bad) you are willing to experience.

    I have named it pre-existent self-determined predestined reincarnation. But I'm sure someone can come up with a better name.